Sorry. -Rachel

The story of a girl dumped. | January 9, 2010

Her head rested on his chest, “I miss this so much.” A tear pulls from her eye, rolls down her face, and escapes to his bare skin where she will wipe it away with her thumb. She imagines she feels his adams apple bob above her head, as if maybe he felt the same way. 

It will take her a week to let it go.

Three conversations with him within the week, and she can let it go. 

First, grief with the death of something that seemed good and felt right. 

Then the attempt to reason with herself not to be hurt because the break up was, reasonable. She is sore from the sudden heartbreak, which, caught her off guard, because she had no idea she cared this much. She thought she kept herself from having deep feelings for him. 

She has the first of three key conversations with him in his beat up black truck with cherry red interior. She wrote everything down she wanted to say and titled it “A List of Questions and Statements for …”, then a dozen reasons they shouldn’t be together, and a dozen reasons they were together. She leaves hopeful for a meaningful friendship and a future reunion. 

The next day, the insecurity which inevitably comes with being sacked hits her, right in the mouth. Then paranoia, and self doubt. Anger boils in her blood, confusion makes her feel violent, and hostile. She yells at him for the wrong reasons during the second conversation. She will try and fail to break his over confidence, they will tell each other what the other wants to hear. He will tell her that he cares about her, and he doesn’t want to hurt her. He spends the night, and he will hold her like he’s held countless other girls, and she will hold him like she’s never held anyone before. 

The third conversation will happen over the phone, it will be less epic then the other two, but more honest and realistic. Rachel will realize how unimportant their relationship was, and what they had will never be again. She will feel calm, not frantic to understand what’s happening between them. Rachel will let it go, she’ll open her arms and what she was clinging on to so tightly will drift way lightly with the snow off the roof tops, and whatever it was they had would be gone.

Rachel finds something in her that seems good and feels right.


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About author

Born and raised in St. Louis, I hate eating at chain restaurants and enjoy drinking beer. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, if you have any suggestions please let me know. Thanks.

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